Today's writing is about my so called crush in the past

I used to falled in love with a strange and yet a unique person,she is my long lost past stories that i had burried deep inside my heart.But something had ignite the fire inside me to recall and reanimated the feelings that i had to her back in the days.From a tiny dust and bit by bit turns to a hard stone as if a tumor had growed on my heart.Every memories that i thought i had wiped suddenly emerged slowly like a puzzle that in the end turn to a picture.

working my ass out like a robot

I don't know where to start,somehow or another theres gonna be words and sentences written in the end.So,this marks the start,here goes....

Somethings being bothering me lately,i just can't seems to think normally this past months.I can't tell exactly what it is,but i think it has to do with my work.The thing about my work is i dont feel passionate at all.I felt empty inside,as if im working without a soul and only my body's do the thinking and act on its own without having to feel or bear the emotion of joy and happy time along the involvement.Maybe im just a little demotivated due to the fact that theres no more room for childish act and play,i have to start thinking like a real adult,theres so much commitment and responsibelities that i had bear as part of being an adult myself.Its time for me to be a serious man.It really kills me having to stop my childish behaviour because part of me mostly is still having a great time breathing the childish world that im living.

There's no real point to write about,its just a moment to express my feelings that im writing.

walking through a dark places where my soul bleed n my minds completely out of reach are killing me inside..the air that oxygenated my body was to dusty for me to freely breath..im tied to some condition where its not on my free will and only to survive with some strings attached to my movement..

Melting the ice,I need to believe

There's a stairs that had been so high for me to reach,to reach the top to be exact.Those stairs are just no other than some of my life episodes.I often stuck in the middle of it and having the decision to backdown or just keep climbing up,and those decision not always been cleverly made and judging of the way my mind functioning at the time, sometimes theres no rasional thought of output produces by my brain,it depends on my mental status at that moment.The bad choices that i had made lead my life to a misery.

I'd always been the insecure brat walking by the shadows of the people around me.There's no "logic" in my interaction with the people,its always been impossible for me,i just cant see what others usually saw.My point of view always been so narrow in the scales of normal peoples perception.It helds me big time from coping with people.Theres no evironment of friendly exist within me but only lack of self confidence what darkens the environment.....

To rise to the top and surpassing my fear,theres a few layers of approach to be learn.Intouching with my innerself is the great way to start it,through realising the problems and had the will to change is the important part of breaking the ice..Its all about believing in own self in order to raise the confidence to do something....

this is just none other than a note to remind myself and raising some self-esteem to do something

Is it shy?or just freakingly being arrogant?

Shyness is always be one of my characteristic as part of forming the flaws of becoming the not so perfect human being.I often had this issue when it comes to socializing with people,and it had happened a lot to me when it was back on my teenage days.When every time i had the chance to interact with someone,i just cant get the right words to say and it looks like as if that im holding my mouth to speak and being like freaking arrogant,but the actual thing is that my mind freezes a lot and went to the blur section on processing some idea of having a normal conversation..and i just sat there thinking of something good to be said and talk about and hoping for the right words to land in my tongue.I just want to be friendly with people,but i just dont have the right soft skill to be so..

Is it .?

Life is a limitless journey where every living person experience,and it bounds to them as long as their heart are still pumping for the air  and beating to consciousness on this world,and it will ends when their no longer has the responsiblity of their own body and were disconnected from the chain of so called reality and then only to enter the dimension of here after,and also last phase of the life that we never had control of it(lifeless),times what separate us between life and lifeless,and what keeps us a distance between choices we made and later consequences for what we had controled before.It has been our own responsibility to form our life and to fill that empty cup with our action whether its good or bad,then theres a consequences of our action. 

I felt like writing

Hello peeps or someone out there who r reading this crap..I just felt like writing and want to spread out some words that were dancing in my brain,and may those word turn out to be some inspirational thing to be read probably..

Lets start by writing some notes that the people can digest and some words that actually have the meaning..
...grab a popcorn or something, this is going to be a short notes and u wont get to finish that popcorn so just save some for later time,perhaps i'll return with something more interesting for u to read..
For the people who r reading this,,,so u might just accidently walked to this blog,my blog,and something caught u up for a moment that makes u wonder why is this crappy blog exist and u might probably spend a minute or two trying to explore this blog and to see the nonsense of this blog that u accidently clicked,well just take your time to see some good stuff if theres any of it to u,then again as for me i do think this is just some shitty blog i had create,but still its the only stage for me to interact with my feelings and expressing it or something like that.., i dont expect anything from u,i dont have the intention of aiming the publicity and its funny for me if i were to do so,i just dont have the potential to be a true blogger,but i just have this feeling of writing and thats all,then again u be the judge.so peeps if u can,just keep reading althought u might felt boring for doing so..thanks

Sincerely from me,
The Creator of this Blog,My Blog,and also yours to read,and to leave some comment,and also dont forget to spread the good things about it..