working my ass out like a robot

I don't know where to start,somehow or another theres gonna be words and sentences written in the end.So,this marks the start,here goes....

Somethings being bothering me lately,i just can't seems to think normally this past months.I can't tell exactly what it is,but i think it has to do with my work.The thing about my work is i dont feel passionate at all.I felt empty inside,as if im working without a soul and only my body's do the thinking and act on its own without having to feel or bear the emotion of joy and happy time along the involvement.Maybe im just a little demotivated due to the fact that theres no more room for childish act and play,i have to start thinking like a real adult,theres so much commitment and responsibelities that i had bear as part of being an adult myself.Its time for me to be a serious man.It really kills me having to stop my childish behaviour because part of me mostly is still having a great time breathing the childish world that im living.

There's no real point to write about,its just a moment to express my feelings that im writing.

walking through a dark places where my soul bleed n my minds completely out of reach are killing me inside..the air that oxygenated my body was to dusty for me to freely breath..im tied to some condition where its not on my free will and only to survive with some strings attached to my movement..

Melting the ice,I need to believe

There's a stairs that had been so high for me to reach,to reach the top to be exact.Those stairs are just no other than some of my life episodes.I often stuck in the middle of it and having the decision to backdown or just keep climbing up,and those decision not always been cleverly made and judging of the way my mind functioning at the time, sometimes theres no rasional thought of output produces by my brain,it depends on my mental status at that moment.The bad choices that i had made lead my life to a misery.

I'd always been the insecure brat walking by the shadows of the people around me.There's no "logic" in my interaction with the people,its always been impossible for me,i just cant see what others usually saw.My point of view always been so narrow in the scales of normal peoples perception.It helds me big time from coping with people.Theres no evironment of friendly exist within me but only lack of self confidence what darkens the environment.....

To rise to the top and surpassing my fear,theres a few layers of approach to be learn.Intouching with my innerself is the great way to start it,through realising the problems and had the will to change is the important part of breaking the ice..Its all about believing in own self in order to raise the confidence to do something....

this is just none other than a note to remind myself and raising some self-esteem to do something